I have a lot of feelings that I want to let out right now, but I didn't want to make another blog on TeamLiquid where everyone thinks I'm whining about my life. Writing it here seems perfect so feel privileged if you read it :)

I haven't had the best luck in the past with girls.. I had a whole huge deal back in January of 2010 where I truly experienced my first heartbreak, in May of that year I kind of got ignored (well, it's up for debate) by my prom date and later that month I got a date with another girl who texted me 2 nights before telling me she couldn't make it. I asked her if she wanted to reschedule, she said no. A few weeks later she was messaging me on Facebook, talking about how sorry she was..

I had kinda not fallen for anyone until now.. a girl that works at the same place as me. It was going good, I got her number kinda as a joke but she kept texting me nonstop. We flirted all the time, and judging by my past experiences, the attraction was evident. Until tonight, when I figured out she was practically dating another guy via a text from her. I replied telling her it was all good and now she's calling me, as well as texting me telling me to answer because she needs to explain something.

Okay, there's the sad part. Ready for some optimism?

But there's no huge sense of sadness. I've been through so much in the past two years and I've gotten tougher with every experience. Trust me, it stings because I was feeling very good about this. (I just got another text just saying "kameron"). But I've learned so much through all of the disasters I've been through that I feel so optimistic, and I can't really explain it.

My self confidence has gotten much, much better over time. As nerdy as it is, I even attribute some of that to Starcraft.. I've played with some amazing players and have hung with them.. if I can play with the best there, what's to stop me from hanging with the best anywhere? Life is so much about being mentally tough. You can't be intimidated by anyone if you really want to succeed. You have to know that you belong at the top if you want to be at the top of anything.

Lately I've been watching a bunch of Michael Jordan Youtube videos.. that's the perfect example of mental toughness. The guy is the greatest basketball player of all time, but a lot of that was the fact that he was so dang tough. He wasn't afraid of anybody. When you know every shot you take is going to go in, life feels much much better.

And wow... I just got another text. This really isn't staged. I'm just gonna go word by word: "alright since you won't answer I didn't think it was necessary to tell you that I'm still talking to my ex cause it's always who knows with us we're not even officially bf and gf and it's been this way for awhile now he has cheated on me and only cares when he wants and now that he saw I was talking to you he's pissed so if he texts you ignore him."

And now I'm kinda laughing but at the same time feel sad for the girl, but eh what can you do. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

Anyways, moving on. (Oh one second.. here's another one: "He's the one who texted you that cause he doesn't want me to find anyone else.") Now I kinda really feel bad for this girl more than anything, but enough with that :)

Sorry for all the rambling and instant updates when I got text messages, but I just felt like dumping my feelings somewhere. Perhaps I should be heartbroken right now... but I feel so optimistic in life that I hope my good feelings can spread to at least 1 person and help them out.

Thanks for reading :)